"You can’t order a poem like you order a taco.
Walk up to the counter, say, “I’ll take two”
and expect it to be handed back to you
on a shiny plate.

Still, I like your spirit.
Anyone who says, “Here’s my address,
write me a poem,” deserves something in reply.
So I’ll tell a secret instead:
poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes,
they are sleeping. They are the shadows
drifting across our ceilings the moment
before we wake up. What we have to do
is live in a way that lets us find them.

Once I knew a man who gave his wife
two skunks for a valentine.
He couldn’t understand why she was crying.
“I thought they had such beautiful eyes.”
And he was serious. He was a serious man
who lived in a serious way. Nothing was ugly
just because the world said so. He really
liked those skunks. So, he re-invented them
as valentines and they became beautiful.
At least, to him. And the poems that had been hiding
in the eyes of skunks for centuries
crawled out and curled up at his feet.

Maybe if we re-invent whatever our lives give us
we find poems. Check your garage, the off sock
in your drawer, the person you almost like, but not quite.
And let me know."

"Valentine for Ernest Mann," Naomi Shihab Nye, 1952 (via focloir)

Hey! I should be around the 22nd, and I have a car and I’d be happy to drive. My partner is punkyfemmedreams, and you should ask them about hir experience with top surgery, zhe has a lot of good suggestions :3
thank you so much! I know it may be kind of selfish and inconvenient for you, but would it be okay if I let you know for sure if I need a ride once I figure things out with my mom? things are really up in the air right now because I have no idea how she’ll react (my guess is either she’ll not want anything to do with the surgery or, slightly more likely, want everything to do with it. two extremes, I know LOL), so the driving part is mostly a backup plan in case she doesn’t want to be involved, if that makes any sense? I’ll definitely tell you as soon as I can though! and yees, I’ll contact joshua for sure! :3
I’d be happy to help! I’m super tired, but let’s figure something out for pre and post. Fb message?
yees, I’ll message you. thanks a ton! :D

i’m sure i’ll be pretty free around that time to help out in taking care of you :o

thank youu, m’dear<3 when the time comes closer, let me know what’s best for you since, well, I’ll be in bed the entire time so whenever you can drop by is fine with me LOL

I’d like to help with the aftercare! I dont have a car so I can’t help with the driving part, but let me know which days you need people to help you during the recovery process!!
that’s fine, aftercare is just as important and I’m grateful you can help at all! yees, I’ll definitely let you know! thank you so much :D<3

I’ll come by after school and cook/bring you meals darlin’, with the edition of cuddles and baths c: and anything else you’d like :3

yeees please, all of that would be very nice. thank you, my love c:

oh my god, that was a super fast flurry of responses to my last post LOL. I’m really touched (to the point of tearing up, actually) and can’t say thank you enough. in the process of responding to everyone now! :D

call for help!

my (top) surgery is in less than a month now and I’m taking precautionary measures in case my mom, who I’m coming out to and telling about the surgery in about a week and a half, isn’t supportive and doesn’t want to help with post-surgery transportation and care-taking

with that said, I might need someone in/near san francisco to drive me to and from (or just from, depending on what’s convenient for you) the place I’m getting my surgery at, which is dr. crane and dr. satterwhite’s clinic in the marin (north of san francisco) about 30 minutes away from my house. I have to be there on friday, august 22nd at 10am and will be able to leave around 3-3:30pm. I can take public transportation there if someone can’t drop me off in the morning, but I definitely have to have someone pick me up and take me home. if you can do both, you definitely don’t have to stay there the entire time and wait for me (unless you want to)

also, I’ll probably need someone to take me to the clinic about 5 days later to get my bandages off. I’ll have more details (exact date and time) on that hopefully soon

if you’re interested in doing either of those, let me know and we can figure something out that works for the both of us. I’ll treat you to lunch at some point (before or after the surgery, take your pick) as a thank you! I mean, c’mon, free food? heck yeah!

lastly, I’ll need a few people to help take care of me, mostly just for the first week or so post-op. even if my mom is willing to help, I’m not sure how much she’ll be able to since she works seven days a week now. and even if she takes time off, it’s still a lot to ask from one person, two when my b can drop by, so I’d be forever grateful to anyone who would be willing to help us out! I imagine I’ll mostly been sleeping for the first few days, but I’ll need help with basic needs, like sitting up in bed, getting up to use the bathroom, making sure I’m fed, anything requiring me to lift my arms above my head (as in I won’t be able to lift my arms so I’ll need help with things that require doing so), any heavy lifting I might need to do for whatever reason (which is unlikely, so don’t worry)… I have netflix, a decent internet connection, a wii, and a 3ds to keep you occupied, plus snacks and food in the fridge you can help yourself to. LOL I feel like I’m trying to bribe y’all: “FREE FOOD, NETFLIX, AND GAMES FOR YOUR PLEASURE IN RETURN FOR HELPING INJURED OL’ CAM” LOL. anyway, I also live a 5 minute walk from stonestown and the merced library in case you want to go out to buy yourself food or get a few books to read

to people reading this who have already had top surgery, how was the recovery process? what kinds of things did you need (besides a lot of tv shows and movies to watch LOL) to make your recovery smoother? what specifically did you need help doing? and any tips in general to prepare for surgery and/or recovery? I’ve watched videos and read a lot about this, but the more information I can get, the better, especially since everyone’s body reacts differently!

random(ish) note: I won’t have drains, thank god, so my recovery experience will probably differ from a lot of people’s. just figured I’d mention since drains are more common than not when it comes to top surgery

well yeah, let me know if you may be able to do any of these! I’ll be seriously forever grateful. even if you can’t, I really appreciate everyone’s support so far. I’ll bake cookies or something once I can for y’all as a token of gratitude! :D


I would fold
a thousand paper cranes
for you,

would fight away all those demons
that leave scrataches over your skin
just so that you know
that they don’t leave
through bloody trails.

I look at you and see all the ways
a soul can bruise, and I wish
I could sink my hands into your flesh
and light lanterns along your spine
so you know that there’s nothing
but light
when I see you.


When the wind blows
all your candles out, when the stars
turn to plumes of smoke,
when your mother makes you watch
all the matches burn out in her eyes,

Let me hold your hand, your skin,
the stones you’ve swallowed in your sleep.

Let me
slip your soul out of your skin
so you can sleep in my palms
for tonight.


— “I Love You The Distance Between Paris and New York,” Shinji Moon (via sol-psych)